Gravitational Oxymoron by Khadijah Dennis

GRAVITATIONAL OXYMORON

 

I found myself on the other side of the world again,
            wrapped up in warm sunshine and rainbows
            bearing their colors loud and proud.

Curled up in the comfort of warm shelter and
            Netflix reruns of a different world,
This, was a different world, something that
            I couldn’t put a name on for the first time.

A secret escape that no one else had a clue I ran off to.

My own lullaby, soothing yet never close to me–
            you were never close enough for me to claim you as my own.

So, with this empty space I shared you.
            Splattered your marks against my walls and
            married our sounds against the pendulum of time
                       that ticks as a reminder that everything is temporary.

Jasmine and lillies shed their petals
and I’ve become exhausted with figuring out the pace.

I want so desperately to forget about the way
            my heart beats for you whenever you’re around–
                       wind chimes have become the Jill to my Scott.
I’ve taped my stitches closed so many times
            that it’s beginning to become numb to the ointment,
I’m traveling these forgotten roads that
            I thought I left behind so long ago.

And then there’s you–
            and I just don’t know what to do.

My family says that when you want something so bad enough,
            you must reach out and grasp it–touch it with your mind,
            and let your actions follow.

Breathe life into your new possession
            and never forget why you started.

So
                        I looked in the mirror, and instead of holding you
                                                I’m holding me

                        Admiring my every imperfection and little details
                                   Smiling at my broken pieces
                                                Embracing the signs of healing.

I’ve allowed myself to realize that
            loving yourself isn’t so bad,
So even though this feels good,
            I am the only one who makes my life
                                                feel right.


kdennis

Khadijah Dennis is a collage of eclectic energies mixed with the vibrant souls of strong women that inspire her to create, write and lead. As the founder of her own communications platform, The Conqueror Movement, she is learning how to better express her most intimate moments through her artistry.

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