I heard the shifting tides in the recess of my mind.
Running fingers across my aura.
Gripping at me like my hips are 44 inches
and my chest is sitting 2 letters from B.
Its voice wraps me in velvet and silk, I’m a King.
A firm grip on my hand leads me
I find myself at the shore of a vast lake. I feel content for the first time.
I step. I step. I step.
I stand at the border.
I step. I sink. I drift.
Light is suffocated
Pressure is placed upon my mindscape until it shatters.
Crystalline pieces drift away and I feel freedom.
I’m falling further into the abyss.
Memories of my former self flash before eyes that are rolled to the back of my head.
I find understanding:
My desire for solidarity does not equal loneliness.
My love of grime, dirt, bodies, and sex does not equal immortality
My fascination with oni, succubi, incubi, and eldrich does not equal satanic
My admiration, love, and protection of black woman does not equal a lack of masculinity
My love of dark colours does not equal depression
My passion for anime does not dissolve my blackness.
My willingness to call out any problematic behavior does not equate to betrayal.
The sins of my parents do not dictate my future.
My love of the dark does not suggest a love of evil.
Slowly a new entity has formed that is unrecognizable to friends and family.
Above. Hands of old and new friends reach down to “save” me.
They’re unrecognizable to me.
I turn my head as I hear it again singing to me.
A smile appears.
I let the Lake take me
“He who resides at the bottom of the lake.” Dark, charismatic, watching, and the current Shujin of the Incubus Gang, Langston Deary, aka Miles is an ATX-based critic, poet, and foodie. From the age of 11, he has been immersed in all things anime and manga. Relating his thoughts through a unique lens of bottom grills and 5’’ chino shorts, he is often found proclaiming his love of petite tsunderes or ranting about the horrors of harem. When not shouting, Miles can be found discussing which male characters ain’t shit, perusing lusty things, or experimenting with a new recipe.
Also by Langston Deary